“I still question why a child should be ‘owned’ by the man despite the mother birthing the child” – Actress Kemi Lala

• Nigerian actress Kemi Lala Akindoju has sparked a debate on marriage, childbirth, and the impact of children bearing their father’s surname.

• In a recent public statement, she addressed the custom of women adopting their husband’s surname as part of the traditional marriage conventions.

• Akindoju raised concerns about the assumption that children inherit father’s surname and state of origin, questioning the fairness of women’s diminished role in naming rights.

Kemi Lala Akindoju, a popular Nigerian actress, has aroused debate with her views on marriage, childbirth, and the dynamic of children having their father’s surnames.

She addressed marriage norms, specifically the practice of women taking their husband’s surname, in a recent public declaration.

Akindoju voiced concern about the implicit assumption that children will acquire their father’s surname and state of origin, emphasising the tremendous impact of childbirth on women and questioning the justice of their limited role in naming rights.

She emphasised the contradiction with scriptural passages that say a man should adhere to his wife, questioning cultural traditions that prioritize male identity in marriage.

“Scripture actually says the man cleaves to the woman (but what do I know). Most importantly a woman should be allowed to choose. Whether she wants to change her name or not or compound it,” Akindoju stated.

She also criticized social expectations that women prepare for a change in identity after marriage, when males are not normally raised to expect any changes to their names or identities.

She wrote;

“Honestly, if we really want to follow “2 shall become 1”, the couple should merge both surnames. I still question the children automatically coming from the man’s state of origin, his surname, and the fact that the man “owns” the child. The whole thing messes with my head so much, yet it’s the woman who physically goes through a life transforming process to birth the children. Yet, she’s relegated. I may not have the answers, but it troubles my entire being and I am yet to find the scripture that says the woman must take the man’s name. Scripture actually says the man cleaves to the woman (but what do i know).

“Most importantly a woman should be allowed to choose. Whether she wants to change her name or not or compound it. It’s sha somehow that boys are never raised to think their identity will change, but just because of a woman’s gender she’s raised/socialized to know that she shouldn’t get too comfortable with a name and identity she’s known all her life. I don’t have the answers, but I strongly question this practice.”