“If I Had Remarried, I Would Be Divorced Again”- Toke Makinwa Reflects On Life At 40

Nigerian actress and media personality Toke Makinwa has opened up about her personal journey, revealing that if she had remarried after her divorce, she would have likely faced another separation.

Speaking on the latest episode of her podcast, Toke Moments, titled I Am Growing Up, Not Old, Makinwa shared her thoughts on turning 40. She admitted that the idea of being single and without children at this stage in life once filled her with fear. However, she has since embraced her reality and found peace in her journey.

She said, “Regret is so exhausting. Get comfortable with your truth. The hardest thing I could say to myself is that I’m 40, single, and childless. I said it, and I did not die. That used to make me almost tear up. I used to feel like, ‘Oh my God, how am I 40 and I don’t have a child, single and lonely?’”

“If I’m completely honest with you guys, if I had gotten married again, I would be divorced again. Because the lessons just never stop. I’m grateful for the journey, I’m grateful for where I am, I’m grateful that I’m 40. Life is perspective. I could look at it like, ‘Oh my God, I’m 40, and I don’t have a child, I don’t have a husband. People have passed me.’ But I can look at it as, ‘I’m 40, I’m a boss, I’ve built an empire. I’m one of the most resounding voices in Africa. I have the love of family, I’m in great health, I love what I do, I’m not waking up miserable. I have the right amount of people that are supposed to be in my life.’ Sometimes, you need to sit with your truth. And once you sit with your truth, they say, you cannot shame the shameless.”

“Once you can tell yourself these uncomfortable truths—I’m not always going to be childless, I’m not always going to be without a spouse or a partner if I so desire it. What I desire, desires me, too. This is where I am. This is what it is right now. The moment you can tell yourself those ugly truths, they become beautiful. Sometimes, I’m happy and lucky that I get to experience life this way and learn my lessons this way. Eventually, when the person that’s made for me comes along, I know that I’m more mature, I know that I’m in a better headspace, and I know what it’s like to be in a relationship.”

Toke Makinwa was formerly married to businessman Maje Ayida, with their marriage lasting from 2014 to 2017.

In November 2024, there were rumors about her marrying Farouk Umar, a partner she has been linked to for a long time.

However, she quickly clarified that they are just “besties” and that the event people thought was a wedding was actually her Thanksgiving celebration.