“It was either a middle finger to God or just cry” – Pastor Jimmy Odukoya on his mum demise

Nollywood actor/cum-Pastor Jimmy Odukoya has revealed his emotional journey of dealing with faith and personal grief following the unexpected death of his mother, Pastor Bimbo Odukoya, in 2005.

Jimmy spoke on the pilot episode of the Truth Table podcast, which is hosted by his sister, Pastor Tolu Odukoya, about how his bereavement influenced his faith in God.

He stated, “The difference between when mum died and when dad died was that with mum it was very sudden and no one saw it coming. I think that my biggest fear in life at the time was losing a member of my family and mum was the most important woman in my life.”

Jimmy stated that his grieving journey had taken him to a crossroads where he must either face his anguish head on or renounce his faith. Ultimately, he chose to face his pain rather than abandon his faith.

He said, “When it happened, I felt like I was at a crossroads with God and I had two choices. It was either the middle finger to God and saying, ‘You know what? I’m done. This is not what you promised, this isn’t what you said. I’m leaving, I’m not doing this anymore. Where has this gotten us? And the other option was to stay there and just cry.”

“I thought to myself that if I take the other option where I walk away, I’m still going to come back eventually so why waste my time walking away? Let me just stay here and cry,” he added.

The pastor compared his personal anguish to that of a damaged soldier in the midst of battle; nonetheless, he found comfort in a word from God.

He said, “It was one of my biggest fears at the time and you know scenes in movies where you see soldiers in war-battered and broken; his shield is somewhere and he’s pretty much lifeless. I felt battered and broken at that time and I remember God saying, ‘Get up, soldier. Don’t you realise that you’re fearless now? The worst has happened so what can the devil use to threaten or scare you anymore?”